This is a guest blog post from the wonderful Carla Finsterbusch aka Carla Stella.
A Child’s Silent Dreams
I remember watching in awe whenever people played music on the streets. I remember pretending to be a pop star on some imaginary stage. I remember watching ‘Mama Mia’ for the first time and secretly wishing I was Donna. Music, Art, and Creativity have always fascinated me. Yet, the 10-year-old me had always assumed performing music was only meant for some really lucky and gifted people. Back then, I was way too shy to express my passion for music. It never got into my head that I could be making music too. Luckily, this assumption has changed. I started challenging my old beliefs. I realized, I needed to get out of my comfort zone to live my dreams.
Beginning My Creative Journey With Small Steps
At the age of about 11, I founded a girl band with two classmates. We totally dedicated ourselves to Christmas songs, and I definitely thought we were going to make it as the next big hit! However, we played gigs in our heads only…
Manifesting Dreams and Releasing My Debut EP
When I got my first own keyboard about 10 years ago, I never thought about writing my own songs. Today, I’m 22, and last year I have self-released my debut EP ‘Marionette Show’.
Meeting other musicians when I moved to study in the Netherlands three years ago, I realized I wanted to focus more on music. Understanding that if others can learn how to produce and release songs, I should be able to do so too, redirected my entire mindset towards growth.
Autodidact Learning and Gaining Confidence
Over the past one and a half years, I learned everything I know about music production by joining multiple courses and workshops. I got to connect with many like-minded people who have been supporting me on my journey. In a male dominated industry, meeting other strong women who learned music production was especially empowering and important for my confidence.
I moved at a fast pace and within half a year, I self-produced my debut EP. Looking back, I’m laughing at the silly mistakes I did back then. I didn’t even know how to set the metronome when recording my first songs. There was no one who told me where to start and what to do next. Learning everything by myself was really overwhelming at times. At the same time, I learned to divide my energy, make decisions, and take on responsibility for myself.
Most importantly, I wanted to have fun and enjoy the process of creating. I wanted to enjoy the magic of developing something unique and expressing myself creatively. I wasn’t afraid of failing, and I accepted what is already there as enough! Exactly this mindset motivated me to finish my EP.
Overcoming Comparison and Perfectionism
Despite the joy of creating, it’s easy to fall into a downward spiral, especially when comparing yourself to others. It’s easy to become overwhelmed or get stuck in perfectionism. That’s what happened to me over the past months. I even started doubting whether I should pursue making music at all. Constantly doubting whether my music and I as a person are enough held me back from finishing my projects. This toxic mindset held me back from doing what actually matters most to me. I realized, I sometimes have to learn to limit myself in the creation stage in order to actually finish my projects and not become too perfectionist. Acknowledging that what is there is enough protects me from constantly being drained and frustrated because I think I should do more.
Prioritizing in Self-Directed Learning
Self-producing and self-releasing music are very self-directed activities. It can sometimes feel quite isolated, especially when no one around you seems to do something similar. Besides the actual music production, I wanted to learn additional skills such as basic marketing and PR. I learned how to write my own press releases, submit my songs to several blogs, magazines and radios. I also had to deal with the fact that all this effort did not pay off the way I expected it to.
I wanted to learn too many things at the same time, which hardly left me satisfied with the results. Constantly pushing forward without taking breaks was really exhausting and lead to an inner restlessness. Learning the importance of setting priorities, helped me do everything with more ease. Being proud of what I have already accomplished and setting specific goals for the future is a crucial source of motivation and inspiration.
Balancing Multiple Passions
Balancing two passions, psychology and music, has been an additional challenge. Finding enough time for both, and making sure to not overwork myself, hasn’t been easy. Sometimes, I would sometimes totally immerse myself in university tasks because I felt overwhelmed by all the creative ideas I had for my music. Interestingly, when I was really stressed with studying, I often felt even more inspired to write new songs.
This has shown to me that on one side, multiple passions can challenge, but on the other side, they can also enrich each other creatively!
The Impact of Environment Change on Self-Development
Living in Berlin over the summer has shown to me what impact an environment change can have on who you are and want to become as a person. I barely knew anyone in the city, and the new environment has challenged me to get out there, meet new people and get out of my comfort zone. I got inspired by people who are at a stage in life where I would like to see myself. I realized the power of a community that believes in you and lifts you up. At the same time, I realized the power of believing in myself and talking to myself in a kinder way that nourishes my creative energies.
Self-Acceptance and Adapting a Growth Mindset
‘What makes you think you are different from the people that have achieved what you want?’ This question has really made an impact on the way I think about my goals. While others might be already a lot further in the process, I do indeed have everything it takes to get there. The people we tend to compare with have also started small, only to grow with every new step they take. Shifting the focus on what is already there and what I have already accomplished makes future goals look less intimidating.
Changing my mindset from thinking I am not enough to committing to accepting myself, and acting upon my values has given me so much energy that now I feel like nothing can hold me back anymore. I’m getting more into a flow!
I know there will always be ups and downs. I know there are going to be points in the future when I am going to feel discouraged again. This is normal. I am not going to let this stop me from what I am doing, I can always refer back to why it is meaningful and important what I am doing. Adapting the right mindset and directing it towards growth can change an entire life.
Facing Fears and Insecurities
One fear I had for a long time was performing in front of others. Looking at where my courage and curiosity have brought me already in the past was very uplifting and motivates me to use my courage as my strength to face my fears. Adapting the mindset “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” has helped me deal with my insecurities. In fact, the times when I did something that scared me anyway, were usually the times when I experienced what is also called the “highest self”. I realized that my fears were mostly unfounded. I was afraid of failing. But I wasn’t aware that failing is in fact very normal and part of the process.
I was afraid of rejection. But became aware of the fact that I will never be able to control how others react to me and how others like what I am doing. I realized, I can only control how I treat myself – Am I rejecting myself? Or am I allowing myself to be just myself?
There will be new challenges along the way, but knowing my values and strengths will help me find the courage and power I need to follow my dreams.
First Time Busking and Facing Fear of Performance
When moving to Berlin over the summer, one of my goals was to go busking there. As someone who has barely performed in front of others and never went busking before, this idea really scared me. Being scared didn’t hold me back from doing it anyway!
On a hot Sunday in the beginning of August, I decided I’ve practiced enough. I felt ready to show my songs to this colorful and buzzing city. I got excited to see people’s reactions to my songs. The will to take on this challenge grew much bigger than the fear that held be back before. Loaded with my e-guitar, amp, and mic, I went to Mauerpark to find a good spot. I was aware that if I decided to leave again, no one will know. But I did not want to disappoint myself. I remembered how my courage has helped me grow in past situations. And what’s the worst that can happen anyway?!
In fact, what really happened was that I had a lot of fun and people seemed to like my music too. Once I started playing and singing, it seemed like all my fears got washed away and there was only joy left. Some people told me they felt inspired by my courage. As connecting with people through my music and empowering others to live their dreams is one of my main reasons to make music, this feedback confirmed to me that I was going the right way.
Values and Goals Awareness
I am writing this while I am doing my internship at The Great Creative Life in Berlin. I truly believe that there is talent in everyone. During my internship, I learned that after important steps like clarifying goals, identifying and removing obstacles, coaching includes creating a strategy and making action plans.
A coaching session would usually start with asking a client about specific goals they want to work on. An important lesson I learned during the internship is about the importance of knowing your values. Reflecting on my own values now constantly helps me prioritize tasks. It helps me make more goal-directed decisions, and focus on creative expression and building connections to other people.
Slowly, I realized, I do actually have an idea of what I want my future to look like. I realized, I wanted to grow a bigger network and meet more like-minded people to create a feeling of togetherness and community, and not get stuck with a feeling of despair and overpowering. I realized, I actually do want to go out and perform my music in front of other people and connect with them. I realized, my creativity DOES indeed matter! I realized, my dreams are indeed realistic.
Positive Feedback Loops
Oftentimes, facing one fear and growing out of it sets an entire positive upward spiral into motion. The strength and courage that are build from those experiences can transfer to other situations, having an empowering effect. For example, I felt motivated to go to several open mic sessions in Berlin, performing my own songs, which allowed me to expand my audience and build valuable connections with like-minded people.
Being scared but doing something despite this fear and gaining positive experiences while doing so has an incredible effect on both, self-esteem and confidence. The more often you jump over your own shadow, the easier it becomes. Driven by initiative and courage, this positive feedback loop will automatically guide you into the right direction!
Key Takeaways
- Your creativity matters!
- Challenge old beliefs and get out of your comfort zone.
- Knowing your values will help you prioritize tasks and direct them toward your goals.
- Learn to be responsible for yourself and your goals.
- Accept that you are enough! Be proud of what you have already accomplished and set specific goals for the future.
- Understand that failing is normal.
- Adapting a growth mindset helps to deal with ups and downs.
- Use your strengths to face your fears.
- Let your will to take on a new challenge grow bigger than the fear that is holding you back.
- Believe in yourself and talk to yourself in a kind way that nourishes your creative energies.
- You cannot control other’s reactions toward you; You can only control how you treat yourself.
- Limiting yourself creatively and focusing on one thing at a time can help against procrastination and not finishing projects.
- Multiple passions can enrich and profit from each other.
- Changing environments can be a new source of inspiration and an opportunity to reinvent and surround yourself with inspiring and supportive people.
- Stop toxic upward-comparison, accept what is already there, and be proud of your accomplishments.
- Face your fears and set the positive feedback loop into motion.
Biography
Carla Finsterbusch aka Carla Stella is a musician and freshly graduated psychology student about to embark on a Masters in Creative Talent Development. Blending ethereal melodies and uplifting dance beats with a sensitivity for poetic lyrics, her music reflects her passion for experimental electronic indie pop and the human mind. She writes, produces, and performs her music, using her voice creatively to address the broad spectrum of emotions that we are able to feel as human beings. Aiming to create a space where everyone can feel heard and respected, she addresses topics such as (gender) equality, sustainability, and mental health. Merging her enthusiasm for music and talent development, she specializes in coaching and developing creative talents.
You can connect with Carla and listen to her music at the following places: 